“Though I know it’s been years since you counseled me, I wanted you to know that I still hear your voice encouraging and helping me through the worst time in my life. The things you helped me with are still helping today. I’m pretty sure I would have crumbled without you guiding me during that time. But the happy part is that though he is gone (and remarried), I am the happiest I’ve been in years.
The emotional abuse, gas lighting, and crazy making he did to me can be so easily seen now that I am not in the middle of it. I wouldn’t take any of those years away from my kids having their dad in the house, but sure is better for my mental health to be unattached to him. I am in a new relationship and seeing what a joy the right man can add to life.
One of the most meaningful things you told me was to ‘not make rash emotional decisions. If it’s right today, it’ll be right next week.’ That plays through my head often. and you always get credit for it. You were my life preserver during that awful time. And in all honesty, you gave me coping skills, knowledge( which is power), and advice I’m still able to use. What is true is that I didn’t trust or believe In myself anymore- I had to come to that myself.
Again- thank you for doing what you do – you are the best, and I’ve given your name to a couple of people in the past couple of months. You are great and appreciated. Never doubt your importance in the lives of those you are helping. I am proof that you are being used for good and what you do is life changing. “
During a sermon (at Pinelake) I was overcome with grief and the feeling I have had for as long as I can remember, that I was too flawed for God to love. So the next morning I contacted, and was able to meet with a counselor at Pinelake, who referred to Carol for additional help.
Carol helped me work through some issues I had carried with me since childhood. Although I had been to counseling before trying to work through these very same issues, they had continued to haunt me. Carol helped me see why the earlier work had not resolved my pain and gently guided me through all of the pieces of the past that had been left unresolved.
The unfinished business of my past lead to two failed marriages, abuse of alcohol, a pattern of making idols of the men in my relationships, and as one might imagine, my parenting skills were quite lacking. I tried to fill this hole in my soul with relationships, work and whatever else I could find to make me a whole person, anything to make me good enough and worthy of love. All of these efforts just left me more empty and lacking. Until recently I have not had a real personal relationship with God, as the center of my life. Carol was instrumental in guiding me to right paths to get there.
Carol had the gentle, listening spirit I needed to open up and purge the burdens I had carried with me most of my life. At 56, for the first time, I feel God loves even me, and I am so thankful for her prayers and guidance.
“I began counseling with Lacy Deese my freshman year….”
I began counseling at Crossroads with Lacy Deese my freshman year of college. I had been referred to her by a young pastor at a local church who knew I was struggling with an eating disorder. Hesitantly, due to prior poor experiences with a counselor, I took the slip of paper he offered me and made an appointment. I had no idea that what began as a name on a simple piece of paper would become a rich, deeply affecting relationship that would change and redefine my life over the course of three years.
From the very first time Lacy and I met together, I had no doubts of how much she deeply cared about me, my life and past, and my struggles. She had no hesitation becoming a part of my life. We began a work together that ultimately lasted three years – a work that would bring me through not only my eating disorder but also through abuse I suffered as a child and, finally, into premarital counseling as my fiancé and I transitioned into husband and wife.
The work Lacy and I did every week was extremely difficult for me, but so very rewarding. Facing trauma and brokenness is physically draining and potentially debilitating, but Lacy led me through, gently and determinedly, in such a way so I never suffered. She gave me an abundance of tools, through our counseling and exposing me to various types of therapy, that I could use as I fought depression, anxiety, and my eating problems. Most importantly, she encouraged and believed in me every session we had for the course of all three years. She never wavered in her hard, deliberate work with me, helping me to overcome more than I could have ever imagined. Through our experience together, I was deeply changed and I cannot express how truly thankful I am for being able to work with Lacy.
Ultimately, Lacy Deese was never, ever afraid of loving me. Because of her unfailing compassion and loving-kindness, she thoroughly changed my life and the tools she gave me through counseling continue to change me every single day. It was through her work, her prayers for me, her love for her clients and the Lord, that I truly experienced healing and freedom.