Our ‘ideas’ directs our behaviors. What we ‘think’ determines what we ‘do’. We Americans seem to think success is something achieved, grasped, conquered. We indeed are very driven to ‘succeed.’ But our ideas, our drivenness to succeed, often undermines the actual success we are desiring for our life. In helping parents with their children, I have to assess their ability not only to manage their own lives and their children’s lives, but to guide them to coach, rather than control, to be present and not reactive, to enjoy rather than to stress about whether they are doing it right as a parent. John Gottman, the well known of couples counseling– and now also a very potent and effective guide to parents as well, says that the results of the Institute’s research was that parents fall into two broad categories: those who give their children guidance about the world of emotion—and those who don’t. An emotionally healthy child is better able to negotiate life and the complexity of our world as they grow and the improved developmental trajectory of their lives gives them an edge on others whose parents do not help them succeed in managing their emotions. It requires a shift in thinking for most parents, but it’s not necessary to reinvent the wheel—Gottman’s excellent book, Raising and Emotionally Healthy child, is the best guide for this rewarding trip into parenthood.